Each New Year my friend John takes it upon himself (thanks) to find out what the year will bring and to find it’s ‘name’. If you knew John you would know he does this with a bit of ‘cheek’; more Hunter S Thompson than illuminated soul. Or?

Anyway below are his findings:

Dear Friends, Initiates and Bewildered Bystanders,

As we bid adieu to 2015, the year of the Princess, it is time to reveal what kind of year to expect in 2016. Once again on our behalf I undertook the arduous spiritual journey to beseech the Oracle to name the coming year so at least we can have some idea what to expect.

Setting out across the cold dark Mojave I followed the North Star and a sign sent by the Oracle. It was a postcard from the Golden Nugget. I was headed to Vegas. As some of you know the Oracle is a degenerate gambler, a womanizer and a mean drunk. No matter. Out west we don’t pass judgment on a man’s hobbies as long as he gets the job done.

By the time I got to the Nugget police were starting to set up a perimeter. The Oracle had taken over the pool and lobby area and was inciting some sort of bacchanalian festival. The sound system was so loud that the fire marshal was concerned about the structural integrity of nearby buildings.

So I wasn’t actually able to speak to the Oracle this year but with the help of the pizza delivery guy and the hostage negotiator I was able to exchange written messages. My heart sank when I saw what he had written. “2016 the year of Dengue Fever”

What could be worse? In the year of the Princess we had all tried to actualize our better selves. I think we’re all about sick of that but Dengue Fever! I felt sick. My ears were ringing from the noise and then it hit me! The band was playing “Shave your Beard.” He meant the band not the fever!

2016 is going to be exotic, mysterious with a catchy riff and an undercurrent of foreboding. About time I say! Happy 2016.

John Burke, Ventura, California December 31, 2015

2016     The year of Dengue Fever.

2015     The year of the Princess.

2014     The year of breaking Uneven.

2013     The year Self-reliance made a comeback

2012     The year apathy reached its apogee

2011     The year we took a break

2010     The Year of Doing One Thing Right

2009     The year of The Second Coming

2008     The year of Looks Good From My House

2007     The year of Emancipation

2006     The year of Drifting Fog

2005     The year of Active Waiting

2004     The year Misses Manners Gets Even

2003     The year we forgot to write stuff down

1990     The year of Doing Less

1989     The year of Living Every Day Like Your Hair’s on Fire

VIDEO: shave your beard